7th over: England 71-1 (Lumb 14, Wright 31) The Wily Nathan McCullum – to give him his full name – comes into the attack. He sees Wright coming and spears one down the leg side, so Wright sticks out his left leg like a centre-back to block the ball. That was a nice bit of cricket, bringing smiles from both players. The next ball is mangled down the ground for six – and then Wright is dropped at extra cover, a sharp diving chance after he toe-ends a wide, low full toss.
“May I suggest ‘Taking My Business Elsewhere’ by Richard Thompson,” says Phil Withall. “Real tear inducer. In fact about 40% of his solo stuff would work. I feel glum now.” You’re welcome!
6th over: England 62-1 (Lumb 13, Wright 23) Wright hits Hira for 10 in two balls, a sweet driven six over extra cover followed by a mow down the ground. Lumb continues a productive over – 21 from it – by pinging his first boundary over square leg and then chipping an almost lazy straight six. It’s an orgy of boundaries. Did someone say orgy?
“Surely the concept of the break up mix tape should be a “journey” from the lowlands of despair,” says Michael Davidson, “gently rising up the hill of hope before reaching a mountain summit of reintegration with the dating market.” That’s a great idea. So, 16 covers of Hallelujah, a jaunty three-minute pop song and I Wanna Sexx You Up by Color Me Badd to finish off?
5th over: England 41-1 (Lumb 3, Wright 12) These straight boundaries are so short, barely 65 metres, and Wright splatters Boult back over his head for a one-bounce four. Two balls later he heaves his first six to cow corner. Remember when every six in international cricket was worthy of at least one exclamation mark; sometimes two; maybe even 12 if you were wired on raw Berocca? Now they verge on the mundane.
“Ah, the word mixtape, resonant of a certain generation,” says my colleague Steve Busfield. “Loved them myself. I think the modern phrase is playlist. Although also being of the mixtape generation, I’m not certain of that. I once put Fairground Attraction’s Perfect on a break-up mixtape. The girl in question wasn’t impressed.”
4th over: England 30-1 (Lumb 3, Wright 1) Just five from Hira’s first over.
WICKET! England 29-1 (Hales st B McCullum b Hira 21) The left-arm spinner Ronnie Hira strikes with his fourth ball. Hales had blootered him down the ground for four off the previous ball; Hira’s response was to toss one up almost 10mph slower and tempt Hales down the track. He was gated as he wafted to leg, and McCullum completed the stumping down the leg side. Excellent bowling.
3rd over: England 25-0 (Lumb 3, Hales 17) Hales, who has been so impressive in his first 18 months as an international player, drives McClenaghan sweetly through the covers for four. This could, maybe should, be a 200 pitch.
“You can’t win with the mixtape: you have no way of knowing which songs were the soundtrack to your friend’s failed relationship,” says Chris Bourne. “Del Amitri’s ‘Don’t Come Home Too Soon’ is a must though, even if it was supposed to encourage the Scottish 1998 World Cup fiasco.” I suppose a Venn diagram of heartbreak and Scottish football makes sense, given that Scotland at the World Cup is the greatest love story ever told, a fraction ahead of Dawson and Joey.
2nd over: England 19-0 (Lumb 2, Hales 12) Trent Boult, another left-armer, disappears for 13 from his first over. His first ball swings down the leg side for five wides, and then Hales clouts an enormous six over midwicket. I love the smell of bish-bosh in the morning.
“You have to include The Divine Comedy’s The Frog Princess,” says John Dalby, “which includes the rather enjoyable lyric ‘But how was I to know that just one kiss, would turn my frog into a cow’.” It might be too early for the Divine Comedy. Surely they are the perfect band for stages three or four of breaking up, where you move seamlessly from crying 23 hours a day to treating life’s vicissitudes with a wry smile. A sideways glance at abject misery.
1st over: England 6-0 (Lumb 2, Hales 4) The left-arm seamer Mitchell McClenagahan, who had a fine tour of South Africa recently, opens the bowling. It’s a good first over, and boundaryless. We won’t say that of many overs today. In fact it might be more instructive to denote boundaryless overs rather than maidens.
The great British break-up CD So, I have to make a mixtape for a friend who has recently broken up with her man. What are the rules for break-up mixtapes? I have not a solitary clue. Normally mixtapes are easy. If it’s a friend you just put really good songs on there; and if it’s someone you fancy you include a load of Barry White, supplemented by MP3s of you breathing and grunting. But what about break-up CDs? Should you put sad songs? Happy songs? Pretend-it-never-happened songs? Eighteen different covers of Hallelujah? Perhaps I could just put Cry Me A River on 18 times.
The first email of the day, and possibly the last “Insomia,” writes Thomas. “Morning. Is Dernbach in the last chance saloon at the bottom of the World?” I don’t think so; his T20 record is pretty decent. It’s in ODIs that he has struggled. This isn’t a great day to be a fast bowler, though: the pitch looks a belter and I reckon even I might be able to clear some of these boundaries.
New Zealand have won the toss and will bowl first Brendon McCullum says they fancy chasing on a ground with unusually short straight boundaries. “I think there’ll be some runs scored today,” says Stuart Broad. Hamish Rutherford, the son of the brilliant Ken, makes his international debut and Ross Taylor returns to the side.
New Zealand Guptill, Rutherford, B McCullum (c/wk), Taylor, Munro, Franklin, N McCullum, Ellis, Hira, Boult, McClenaghan.
England Hales, Lumb, Wright, Morgan, Buttler (wk), Bairstow, Patel, Broad (c), Tredwell, Finn, Dernbach.
Preamble Hello. The plan was to write an award-winning introduction; something so elegant, witty and downright rad that it would induce an epiphany in approximately 99.94 per cent of readers. Sadly we are having significant technical problems – a joy at the best of times, never mind 5.27am on a Saturday morning – so I have my grump on. Hopefully things will be fine for the start of the game, the first of three in this T20 series.
Source:
http://www.ezonearticle.com/2013/02/08/new-zealand-v-england-live/
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